Where there is fire...

Today was kind of fun. We had to make a cooked vegetable plate. This included grilled eggplant and portobello mushroom, sauted brussel sprouts and green beans and glazed carrots. No problem, right?
It is interesting trying to get everything to finish at the same time. This is the tricky bits so far. Especially when they don't really tell us how long it takes to saute a brussel sprout. We did it just fine, in my opinion. The plating was a little messy, but I will get it down on the final, no problem.
The most exciting part of the day is when the saute pan next to mine decided that the butter was hot enough and burst into flames. Butter is pretty dang combustable, apparently. We had 3 foot flames roaring out of it and a class of 30 staring at it. I stared for a second, expecting it to eventually go down. When it didn't, I grabbed my saute pan filled with rendering bacon and brussel sprouts and slammed it down on top of my classmate's inferno. It was over in a few seconds and we all got back to cooking. Good times!

Thanks for reading,
The BS Chef

Take 2 tbsp of butter and call me in the morning.

Today was fun! We are still working on sauces, so today we made three of the worst sauces for you.
First, we had to make mayonnaise and hollandaise sauce again. Different chef, see. I gotta say, I totally rock those emulsions. I keep getting quicker and quicker at beating all that tasty fat and or oil into those eggs. WOO! And we used dijon mustard instead of dry yellow mustard. Yum!
The other sauce is called a beurre blanc. Basically....butter sauce. You may see it on fish or chicken. Possibly corn or other veggies. White wine, vinegar, shallots...simmer down to almost nothing (au sec), and then add a whole pound of butter. Let it melt. Taste and season and strain.
Now these sauces we were not allowed to keep, since they will probably break when they cool down and get nasty. There are about 30 students in my class. The hollandaise required 8 oz. of clairified butter. This is butter that has had all the water and milk solids removed, leaving just the tasty fat, so we will say that is about 10oz of butter.
Between those 2 sauces, there was about 780 ounces of butter used. Rounding up (because I like to do that), that means we went through 50 pounds of butter in about 3 hours. All this sauce went into the pig bucket. I hope I get to taste the pigs that mow through that bucket someday.

In other news, I got to practice some first aid today. I am still Red Cross certified for a couple more years... My class partner accidentally got her thumb in the way of her knife and sliced it pretty dang good. I noticed she was not at out station and there was a drop of blood on my recipe notes, so I went to find her. She was a bit pale and running it under water. I helped apply pressure and bandage it up. Then she thought she was going to faint or throw up.... I got her some water and a wet towel. Another classmate had the good sense to have her sit on the floor instead of the stool, in case she fainted, ya know. About 20 minutes later, she came back with color in her cheeks. Crisis averted!!

Tomorrow is sauce practical test #1. I'm really not too worried about it. I have to make another mayonnaise and hollandaise solo, and then make a chicken veloute with my partner and turn it into a chicken curry sauce. We also have to make a Chasseur sauce. Kind of a beefy, mushroomy gravy sauce. Delicious!

Tastefully yours,

The BS Chef

Mmmm....chicken....

Today was fun! Now I'm in Culinary Foundations 2, and we are cooking something every day. It is great to get the hands on experience, as I'm much better at that than just sitting...
Today was Roasted Chicken with Chasseur Sauce and a side of Rice. Deeeelish!
I learned something that I do quite well. Time management when cooking. It just makes sense to me how to lay out the order of food prep to make solid use of the time. Like when you are making rice, start the water boiling right away, then work on making the chicken nummy, then worry about making the sauce, since you are waiting for the chicken to cook. It all worked out great and we got to eat too! Yummers!
I also learned that the school has a whole bunch of my favorite bandages! Zee brand. Extreme Length. Oh-Yeah. It seems silly, but it is so annoying when you cut your finger and need to continue working with your hands. You are bleeding a bit and the damn bandage falls off. Grrr....... These Extreme-Length bandages have double the adhesive fabric length on one side, so you can get a double wrap! Man, I was so happy to see them after I reached into the wash sink and grabbed someone's knife. Rule #1. DO NOT LET GO OF YOUR KNIFE WHEN YOU ARE WASHING. I don't care if you are standing right there washing your spoon. You don't drop it in the soapy liquid. Dumbass. I'm fine, but was very annoyed for a bit.
Anyway, tomorrow we are working on tomato sauces. I kind of wish we had red uniforms instead of while...

The BS Chef

Golly....it sure has been a while. Sorry about that!

I have passed the first section of school. Not quite a semester, but close. I haven't gotten my grades yet, but by my estimate, I'm rocking straight A's. Woohoo!
Culinary Foundations 1 was pretty nice. I'm getting my knife cuts more accurate and faster. We were taught 'le cuissons', or the 7 basic cooking styles. Grilling, Braising, Roasting, Poaching (includes boiling ans simmering), Sauteing, Frying and Poeler (the 'special' roasting). Each has their reasons and uses, so that starts me off on being able to cook without a recipe! Woot!
Sanitation sure was interesting. My eyes are now noticing short cuts various restaurants take to make service better and faster. Nothing too severe, but perhaps those servers shouldn't be carrying those glasses like that, and that pop dispenser needs a little cleaning... I am well aware that the FDA makes all these guidelines to make sure that everyone has the same chance of not getting sick. Most of the time, it would be the young, old, sick and preggers that would catch the bacteria, as the rest of us can handle a little bit more. In my kitchen at home, I will gladly pick up that piece of chicken off the floor I dropped and throw it back in the pan for a few seconds before I eat it. (Guests will have some more courtesy...FYI...)
I have been working with a local restaurant doing deliveries for their catering service. When I mentioned that the school is trying to scare us all into sanitizing everything, the owner rolled her eyes a bit and said, "There are a lot more of us without food borne illnesses than have them." She makes a good point. Following all the rules is a good thing, but I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.
I remember one time in high school.... The family was out at a chain sports bar type place and I ordered some chicken breast sandwich. Somehow, the FDA sticker was still on the chicken boob when it arrived in front of me. I didn't think anything of it, but my parents made us report it. The manager took care of it and apologized at least 3 times. If I remember right, my meal was free, and I think there was a brownie to boot. I realize now that they bought us off....

Anyway, this is a little rambling, but too bad. I'm looking forward to Culinary Foundations 2. I hear we actually get to start cooking things!! Yay!

The BS Chef

My arm hurts.

Today, we beat the hell out of eggs. I don't mean we scrambled eggs. I mean that we used a whisk and beat the ever loving hell out of the poor little guys. At lest the yellow parts.
I'm talking about hollandaise and mayonnaise. We were showed how to do it yesterday, so I gave mayonnaise a shot last night, failing miserably. I don't know the exact science about it all (Gotta find that Good Eats episode), but it has something to do with the proteins (?) in the egg yolks binding the water and fats into that lovely schmear. I started off by beating the hell out of the egg yolk. You gotta break up all those chains and get some air in the mix. Then add some mustard powder. Then beat it some more. Then slowly drizzle the oil into the egg while you beat the hell out of it. I think this is where I went wrong last night. I was a little quick on the pour. It 'breaks' and no amount of shaking will bring it back.
Today, we worked with partners, so one person could make their arm numb, beating it like Michael Jackson and the other could slip in the oil like BP. (Too soon?) Then switch! It took us about 25 minutes, but we managed to get the ONE egg yolk and teaspoon of vinegar to absorb and get along with the entire CUP of oil. That's right. One egg yolk to one cup of oil. I don't think I can eat it anymore.
Hollandaise is similar, but instead of oil, we used clarified butter. And instead of simply beating the eggs, we had to heat them too. So, now we are worried about our arms falling off, the building burning down AND the eggs turning from the lovely custard texture into scrambled eggs. Ours was perfect.
And next time, I'm using the damn mixer.

The BS Chef

Pastry

I was walking down the hall after class today and passed by the pastry classes. Man, maybe I should have gone that way. Luckily, I had my camera on my, so you can see what culinary school is like. My classes are kind of like this, only with more knives and fire.

Check out the Pastry Chefs!


The BS Chef

One Week!

Well.... I made it through the first week of school. They warned us that the first six weeks would be the hardest, but I'm pretty dang sure I will make it.
I have only screwed up once too! I missed the shoe delivery, because I wasn't in the general education class when the truck showed up. Then I missed the 411 about the second delivery. So I'm shoeless, but I will get a pass on it.
The knife kit is pretty sweet! I'll try to post pictures when I have a little time to take some good pictures. It is basically a 20 pound kitchen in a bag!
So far, what we have learned (or been taught at least)...

Some basic knife cuts. It is really hard to cut a carrot into 1/16 inch cubes, but apparently it is very important to be able to. We also cut shallots into transparent slices and garlic into paste. I think it is neat that all the stuff we are cutting in our beginning class gets carted away to other classes to use in actual cooking stuff! And the scraps get fed to pigs. It is a circle of life and all that jazz. The biggest problem I'm going to have is all the damn French words for everything. I have enough problem remembering what things are called in English! Sheesh. Julliene this.
Safety and Sanitation class is pretty much a huge Fox News scare tactic class. There are millions of things in food that can kill you or make you poop yourself. Or if you cook them, and someone else poops themselves, they will sue you and you will be mocked by the culinary industry forever. I have discovered that I am a face toucher and need to wash my hands all the freaking time. I rub my eye, wash hands. I scratch my ear, wash hands. Whew. I think all that water saved on organic farms is going to wash my dang hands...
So there we go! I'm remembering how to be in school. I had one minor freak out about homework and papers and research, but got through it just fine. I have almost 100 note cards already and one paper written in my head. And I haven't cut myself. Yet.

Until next time!

The BS Chef